Revulsion towards your assigned gender
During a holiday afternoon in May 2010, there was Takamasa in a restaurant located in the heart of Tokyo. It was a place of gathering for youth, aged 10-20 years old, who worried and experienced discomfort towards their gender. A journalist sat and interviewed with these people who dealt with issues regarding their gender such as gender dysphoria, which then became a focal point for the series「境界を生きる」(lit. Living on the Boundary). Still with baby cheeks and his bangs almost completely covering his eyes, Takamasa had just entered high school. When his turn for school introductions came around, he was shy but a little proud to have publicly announced that he had a gender identity disorder (GID).
When he was in elementary, Takamasa remembered how unpleasant it was to discuss topics regarding gender and puberty. He had been raised as a girl, and so talking about menstruation and wearing bras was so uncomfortable. Once he reached junior high school, wearing a skirt for his school uniform had been agony. He himself could not understand what felt wrong that, eventually, he could not stand to go to school anymore.
There was one time when he learned about gender dysphoria from TV, and then it clicked. "Maybe I am a boy," he thought. "I want to get a diagnosis from the hospital," he told his mother, Miyuki (59), who accepted Takamasa as he got diagnosed with GID. She had also negotiated to let Takamasa wear the boys' uniform to school. Even before, she had a thought that maybe Takamasa was really a boy. When he came out to her, she wanted him to live a comfortable life. She decided that she would stand by him always.
They gained the school's approval with the assistance of the school nurse. He could wear the boys' uniform and was allowed to use the faculty washroom. He also changed his name into a more masculine name, Takamasa.
Coming out in a speech contest
It definitely takes courage to speak up about one's discomfort regarding their gender. There are many people carrying painful memories of not being accepted by their loved ones. Takamasa was able to find a place he belonged to because of the support of his family, school, and friends.
After several months, he entered a speech contest in a part-time high school in Kawasaki city. There he revealed his new name and spoke about gender dysphoria in his speech entitled "My Identity" to an audience of 700 people. He received a huge round of applause and won the contest.
At that time, movie director Miyuki Tokoi (54) had thought of making Takamasa the central figure for a new film. She went ahead and asked him. Even for Miyuki Tokoi herself, she had continued living without fitting in a society where there was something off about what people deemed "normal." She said, "I thought if we looked through the lens of gender, then wouldn't you also ask what "normal" is?"
Changing the ending of the movie
Takamasa started his hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in high school. At the age of 20, he had saved up the money from his part-time job and got his name officially changed in the family register. He immediately underwent gender reassignment surgery and became legally recognized as a man.
Initially, the movie was supposed to end with Takamasa changing his name and starting to work towards his dream to be a voice actor. However, as he walked through his new life, he realized that even living as a man, he felt a sense of discomfort.
Takamasa said, "I've always thought that there were only two genders, man and woman. I thought, if I was not a woman, then I must be a man." However, turning his body to become more masculine was something he had not wished for. Even though he was able to get into voice acting school, he still felt uncomfortable about how roles were split up and decided according to gender.
So, the movie ended with a "to be continued." It also features a 78-year-old trans musician, a divorcee who was still questioning their gender identity, and a non-binary (X-gender) person. Takamasa, along with the rest of the cast, is searching for a way to truly live as themselves. That is how the conclusion of the movie came to be.
Is the construct of gender truly necessary?
As Takamasa's life changed course, so did the plot of the movie. Many of the people whom Tokoi interviewed said, "Isn't gender a spectrum?" "Is it possible to remove gender as a category?" Even the title「すべての出発点であり、最後に戻るところでもある」(lit. All Points of Departure Lead Back to Somewhere in the End) had been thoughtfully changed.
How did Takamasa himself feel about the changes in the movie? When asked, he revealed, "Up until junior high, I hated myself. I also had thoughts of wanting to die." He thought it was irrational that he could not move forward if he could not resolve the troubles he had with his body, while his classmates were naturally thinking about their future careers and paths in life.
However, watching the completed film made him look back on his life. "Every moment, even during the times I was worried, I lived as best as I could." He pats himself on the back. He can live with the body he has now. He has not given up on using his voice as his main body of work. The movie also became his narration debut.
From time to time, the film captures Tokoi interviewing Takamasa. "Right now, are you happy? Do you like yourself?" Takamasa made many downcast glances as he answered the questions. In the end, the camera panned to his face and his answer was...
The movie has been completed for about a year now and has had independent screenings in various places. In November 2019, NHK and BS1 broadcasted a shorter and edited TV documentary called 「僕が性別“ゼロ”になった理由」(lit. The Reason My Gender Became "Zero"). It elicited quite a reaction.
General screenings will show in Uplink Shibuya from July 24. They are aiming to hit the theatres nationwide but will continuously have independent screenings. They also have an edition for educational purposes.
Visit (https://konomi.work/) for more information.
Source: https://mainichi.jp/articles/20200723/k00/00m/040/182000c
Takamasa started his hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in high school. At the age of 20, he had saved up the money from his part-time job and got his name officially changed in the family register. He immediately underwent gender reassignment surgery and became legally recognized as a man.
Initially, the movie was supposed to end with Takamasa changing his name and starting to work towards his dream to be a voice actor. However, as he walked through his new life, he realized that even living as a man, he felt a sense of discomfort.
Takamasa said, "I've always thought that there were only two genders, man and woman. I thought, if I was not a woman, then I must be a man." However, turning his body to become more masculine was something he had not wished for. Even though he was able to get into voice acting school, he still felt uncomfortable about how roles were split up and decided according to gender.
So, the movie ended with a "to be continued." It also features a 78-year-old trans musician, a divorcee who was still questioning their gender identity, and a non-binary (X-gender) person. Takamasa, along with the rest of the cast, is searching for a way to truly live as themselves. That is how the conclusion of the movie came to be.
Is the construct of gender truly necessary?
As Takamasa's life changed course, so did the plot of the movie. Many of the people whom Tokoi interviewed said, "Isn't gender a spectrum?" "Is it possible to remove gender as a category?" Even the title「すべての出発点であり、最後に戻るところでもある」(lit. All Points of Departure Lead Back to Somewhere in the End) had been thoughtfully changed.
How did Takamasa himself feel about the changes in the movie? When asked, he revealed, "Up until junior high, I hated myself. I also had thoughts of wanting to die." He thought it was irrational that he could not move forward if he could not resolve the troubles he had with his body, while his classmates were naturally thinking about their future careers and paths in life.
However, watching the completed film made him look back on his life. "Every moment, even during the times I was worried, I lived as best as I could." He pats himself on the back. He can live with the body he has now. He has not given up on using his voice as his main body of work. The movie also became his narration debut.
From time to time, the film captures Tokoi interviewing Takamasa. "Right now, are you happy? Do you like yourself?" Takamasa made many downcast glances as he answered the questions. In the end, the camera panned to his face and his answer was...
The movie has been completed for about a year now and has had independent screenings in various places. In November 2019, NHK and BS1 broadcasted a shorter and edited TV documentary called 「僕が性別“ゼロ”になった理由」(lit. The Reason My Gender Became "Zero"). It elicited quite a reaction.
General screenings will show in Uplink Shibuya from July 24. They are aiming to hit the theatres nationwide but will continuously have independent screenings. They also have an edition for educational purposes.
Visit (https://konomi.work/) for more information.
Source: https://mainichi.jp/articles/20200723/k00/00m/040/182000c
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